CRUSH-VERSARY

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Here we are. It’s been a year now. Can you imagine? Time goes so fast, doesn’t it? Soon babies will be waltzing around my feet, needing me to add milk to their cereal (or cereal to their milk) and asking silly questions like “where do babies come from”? And you, where will you be, say twenty years from now? I bet you’ll be nursing a ravishing menopause, knitting away at some overpriced old home for blogs. You know I’ve always found you more mature and older. Like 20 years older. I mean, you’re always saying either deep or (somewhat) funny things but me? I’m as funny as a sewerage pipe in Ol-jororok. Continue reading

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WHAT MAKES A MAN?

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This is a story of manly endings.

I come from a place of loss and want. I am disturbed by things, angered by things. Why does the world have so many human beings but so little humanity? Why do the good ones always suffer?

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I was brought up to know that I should never complain. I am a man. Men don’t whine. Men put on a brave face and handle issues fair and square. Men don’t show emotion. It’s a sign of weakness. Let the women cry and drag themselves on the floor. Women are weak, don’t mind them. They will put up a show over useless things and create mountains out of molehills, haven’t you heard? Don’t bother. Just don’t. Love women but hate that they’re women. They will give you orgasms but they’ll also give you non-stop headaches… Continue reading